Truth,
Glorious Truth!
we might as well do a blog about truth. One truth about Matlock
Bath is that it is a designated conservation area, but you
might not believe it judging by the antics of some of the
local folk, who tend to just ignore it. So straight away we
are put into the compromising position of not being able to
believe 'a truth' when there is one.
If
you stand in the centre of Matlock Bath (if you can find a
true centre, that it) and cover one eye with a piece of card
you may well be able to say with some certainty that Matlock
Bath looks to all intents and purposes like a designated conservation
area. However, this is only a half-truth, since you are only
using one eye and turning the other one (the blind eye) away
(or at least covering it's vision). Remove the card and the
view may well be different. "What's that?" you might
exclaim, "Off to the left! A white elephant! What's that
doing in a conservation area?".
This
of course is an extreme example. But there may be some relevance
anyway, because a white elephant is almost a conservation
area in it's own right. The term derives from the white elephant
of East Asia, which is high-maintenance and has no practical
use, but is considered sacred in Burmese culture and therefore
cannot be neglected or abandoned.
There
may well be a 'white elephant' in Matlock Bath, but I could
not really comment, since there is some truth that can only
be used with the word 'allegedly' in front of it, which renders
it useless in terms of either minimalist or absolute
truth. As we have seen, a white elephant is pretty useless
too and as a definition it is 'a supposedly valuable possession
whose upkeep costs exceed its usefulness, and it is therefore
a liability'. Again, there may well be one in Matlock Bath,
but I couldn't possibly comment?
The
last time I saw a white elephant, in the descriptive sense,
it was a pot one in a local Garden Centre, which is interesting,
because perhaps Matlock Bath should be a designated 'Garden
Centre' instead of a 'Conservation Area'? The letters are
different but the words are very similar in sound and meaning.
Garden centres specialise in recreation, rest, activity, barbecue
sets, water features, capitalism... and there are some trees
here and there too. So that's it then. Matlock Bath
– A Designated Garden Centre. It's got a nice
ring to it! ... we can only dream!
Peter
Hague, 11th September, 2006
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